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Stop Looking For Outside Validation of Your Worth!

2008 Fia Crandall

Do you feel like the results you create in your life are a reflection of your worth and value? Do you feel let down when things don’t turn out as good as you had intended?

Looking for outside validation of your worth is a sure way to keep you stuck in feeling unworthy. When you connect your value to anything outside of yourself you set yourself up for disappointment.

The thing is, you ARE worthy and it has nothing to do with what outer results you create. And I also have come to see that your outer results increase the more that your belief in yourself and your worth increases.

I have seen that people who don’t feel worthy to begin with tend to see things in a distorted way. They rarely see the success they do create, even in the face of great success. And they are so quick to point out what they didn’t do rather than the success they have created. It’s just the natural way because they are driven by an unconscious unworthiness. And when you are driven by unworthiness you can’t help but to look for evidence of it.

I know this all too well myself. This has been a great challenge for me as well. I realized that when you feel unworthy deep down, you set your expectations and goals almost impossibly high. You actually set yourself up for failure without realizing.

Then even if you create great success, it’s no comparison to what you wanted. In one year I had increased my sales by 322%. That’s a massive success! But at the end of that year I still felt like a failure because I didn’t make my huge goal.

Can you see how ridiculous this is?

Do you see how you might be doing this?

You need massive proof of your worth when you feel unworthy, that’s why you set your sights so high.  And when you are driven unconsciously from a place of unworthiness, it is almost impossible to create those incredible results you want.

When you feel worthy, you disconnect from the outer results and celebrate ALL of your successes, because you see clearly without a distorted filter.

The one thing the Law of Attraction does is help you go for the best, to envision something truly amazing for yourself, that really is a major stretch. And this is a good thing. But you can’t tie your worth to whether or not it happens as fast as you’d like or whether it happens or not.

If you really want big results, you have to go big, I’m all for that. But don’t measure your value based on what you create. Make a choice to see ANY forward movement as progress that is worthy of being celebrated.

If you want to break out of this disappointment and unworthiness dilemma, you need to reverse the process.

If you want good results, you must detach from the outer results.

You must see your results as separate from you. Sure they are a reflection of you but if you attract limited results it has more to do with how you see yourself than your actual worth.

Which brings you to the second step to shifting this, you must shift your self-view if you are ever going to attract anywhere near the results that you want. Rather than watching for evidence of whether or not you are worthy, begin noticing and collecting evidence of your worth right now.

One way I did this was to start writing out self-appreciation in my gratitude journal. I just made myself list the things that I appreciated about myself. And when I looked at myself from this viewpoint I could finally see clearly…

I HAD created a lot, I did have a lot of successes worth celebrating, even if I hadn’t made that impossibly high goal. I was giving myself what I needed, I was stepping up for myself and my most amazing life. I was committed. I was authentic.  And I really HAD created a lot of what I did want.  The evidence was all around me.

And through this I started seeing my true value and worth. It was not just shown in what I created, it was shown through who I was and how I was showing up in my life.

Break the connection between your outer results and your worth. Embrace your worth NOW, see the good, see the progress, see what is right. And you can’t help but to create better results, because you will finally be coming from a place of worthiness and you won’t need to validate yourself by results.  And your results can finally soar.

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