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Category — Authenticity

You Are Meant to Do It Your Way

2009 Fia Crandall

Do you ever get the feeling that you are being squished into something that you’re not? Like you really are a square peg trying to force yourself into a round hole but it’s not really working and you’re getting tired of it?

I want to share with you something I found to be very powerful that I hope changes your views on yourself and how you are designed.

When I was in my old nine to five job I had always felt this resistance to the fact that I had to be there for those eight hours, no matter what.  There was even a point in my career where there was absolutely no work for us to do and we STILL had to come in for those eight hours.  It always bugged me.

Now at first I just thought it was because I wanted a dream life where I could make my own schedule and wake up when I wanted and end my days when I wanted.  Now this is partly true but recently I realized something big.

I am not a nine to five person.  I actually found out that my energy runs differently than what is expected when you show up for your eight hour shifts.  I actually work in bursts of energy where I have this insane efficiency and get massive work done in a very short time.  And I also have plenty of time where I really don’t do that much at all.

I thought I was lazy or something.  But looking at it now, this is really just my natural rhythm.  I rest and become more receptive for a time then when it’s time to take action I have full and intense energy that takes me ahead by leaps and bounds.  But it’s a rhythm that I need to operate in to be the most efficient.

I used to think I was a crammer in University.  I wouldn’t study until almost the day before for most exams.  And it worked.  I thought I was doing it wrong but recently I realized that no, I wasn’t doing it wrong, I just needed that downtime before the burst of energy that was sure to come along to help me do what I needed to do very efficiently.

So what does this have to do with you?

You have a way that is YOU. It is natural to you, it makes sense and it is not a bad thing.  In fact, I truly believe that the work that you are uniquely designed for must be done YOUR WAY by you.

I resisted the nine to five not just because I wanted freedom.  Yes I did want freedom, but it is more than that, I am actually designed to work in a certain way that allows me to do what I came here to do in the most effective and powerful way.

I need lots of down time now so I can bring through the inspiration that I’m meant to share with those I’m meant to serve.  And because I allow this I bring through what is SO connected with those I’m here to serve, I hear about it all the time.

And my life is set up to match Who I Am. I stopped trying to fit myself into that round hole and instead I created (or stepped into) my place in the world that is exactly designed for me.  I am free, because for me to be free means I can serve those I’m meant to serve in the highest way a way that feels wonderful and natural to me.

Can you begin to embrace the idea that your resistance you feel to certain things is actually telling you that you are meant to approach things in a different way?

That maybe you’re not being selfish for wanting to do things differently, that maybe it actually allows you to Be Who You Came Here to Be in the fullest, most meaningful way?

Activating Your Authentic Way

Allow yourself to get quiet for a moment.  Imagine an ocean wave of light washes over you and takes away any tension, thoughts and stresses.  Just let it go.

Now ask to be shown what resistance is showing up in your life that is actually showing you an opportunity to discover your way.

And once you receive this, ask: what is my way here?

And to allow this way to more gently come into reality ask: how can I embrace my authentic way within the exact same outer situation?

Even when I was in my nine to five I allowed myself to work my way.  I got together my to do list for the day and didn’t act until I felt like it.  I’d start with the task with the most energy and most of the time while I was doing that I’d run into people I needed to talk to in order to take care of my other tasks on my list.

So start now, wherever you are, to embrace your way.

And I’d like to also spark within you the idea that your entire life not only can be your way but is meant to be your way.

June 28, 2010   No Comments

Stop Looking For Outside Validation of Your Worth!

2008 Fia Crandall

Do you feel like the results you create in your life are a reflection of your worth and value? Do you feel let down when things don’t turn out as good as you had intended?

Looking for outside validation of your worth is a sure way to keep you stuck in feeling unworthy. When you connect your value to anything outside of yourself you set yourself up for disappointment.

The thing is, you ARE worthy and it has nothing to do with what outer results you create. And I also have come to see that your outer results increase the more that your belief in yourself and your worth increases.

I have seen that people who don’t feel worthy to begin with tend to see things in a distorted way. They rarely see the success they do create, even in the face of great success. And they are so quick to point out what they didn’t do rather than the success they have created. It’s just the natural way because they are driven by an unconscious unworthiness. And when you are driven by unworthiness you can’t help but to look for evidence of it.

I know this all too well myself. This has been a great challenge for me as well. I realized that when you feel unworthy deep down, you set your expectations and goals almost impossibly high. You actually set yourself up for failure without realizing.

Then even if you create great success, it’s no comparison to what you wanted. In one year I had increased my sales by 322%. That’s a massive success! But at the end of that year I still felt like a failure because I didn’t make my huge goal.

Can you see how ridiculous this is?

Do you see how you might be doing this?

You need massive proof of your worth when you feel unworthy, that’s why you set your sights so high.  And when you are driven unconsciously from a place of unworthiness, it is almost impossible to create those incredible results you want.

When you feel worthy, you disconnect from the outer results and celebrate ALL of your successes, because you see clearly without a distorted filter.

The one thing the Law of Attraction does is help you go for the best, to envision something truly amazing for yourself, that really is a major stretch. And this is a good thing. But you can’t tie your worth to whether or not it happens as fast as you’d like or whether it happens or not.

If you really want big results, you have to go big, I’m all for that. But don’t measure your value based on what you create. Make a choice to see ANY forward movement as progress that is worthy of being celebrated.

If you want to break out of this disappointment and unworthiness dilemma, you need to reverse the process.

If you want good results, you must detach from the outer results.

You must see your results as separate from you. Sure they are a reflection of you but if you attract limited results it has more to do with how you see yourself than your actual worth.

Which brings you to the second step to shifting this, you must shift your self-view if you are ever going to attract anywhere near the results that you want. Rather than watching for evidence of whether or not you are worthy, begin noticing and collecting evidence of your worth right now.

One way I did this was to start writing out self-appreciation in my gratitude journal. I just made myself list the things that I appreciated about myself. And when I looked at myself from this viewpoint I could finally see clearly…

I HAD created a lot, I did have a lot of successes worth celebrating, even if I hadn’t made that impossibly high goal. I was giving myself what I needed, I was stepping up for myself and my most amazing life. I was committed. I was authentic.  And I really HAD created a lot of what I did want.  The evidence was all around me.

And through this I started seeing my true value and worth. It was not just shown in what I created, it was shown through who I was and how I was showing up in my life.

Break the connection between your outer results and your worth. Embrace your worth NOW, see the good, see the progress, see what is right. And you can’t help but to create better results, because you will finally be coming from a place of worthiness and you won’t need to validate yourself by results.  And your results can finally soar.

June 18, 2010   No Comments

Choose to Be an Example of How Amazing Life Can Be

2010 Fia Crandall

On some level does it feel selfish to be going for what you really want, to have your true passion be given expression and to actually be thoroughly enjoying your life?

It’s amazing that this simple thought can actually cause you to slow down or to not choose your highest, most fulfilling path.  There are SO many things that stop spiritually conscious women from fully embracing their journey of creating the meaningful, passionate work that they love, the difference that they know they are here to make.  I don’t want this one to Stop you!

I want to bring your attention to an important truth I have found has given me permission to really go for it myself, to leave behind this whole idea that it is selfish to fully give expression to what you are meant to in your life:

When you live an amazing life, you are an example of how amazing life can be.

Now does that sound selfish?  I don’t know if I would have started out on my journey had I not had some inspirational people who showed me it was possible.

Another way to look at it is this:

When your life is truly amazing for you, you move from being just like everyone else, to being an inspiration.

Now this may be uncomfortable at first, especially for the spiritually conscious women I know.  You’ve likely spent your whole life hiding your light and authenticity.  And now I’m telling you to be not only different than everyone else but an inspiration?  Yes I am.

Because you KNOW deep down that life is truly meant to be amazing, don’t you?  I’ve always known that, in spite of whatever crazy or frustrating experience I was having.  Deep down I just knew life could be different.

But here it is, you have to make a choice.  This path is not for those who choose to stay small forever.  This path is for those who are courageous at heart, even if it’s hidden deep down within you.  It’s time to call forth that courage and make a new choice. But let me help to make this choice easier for you.

First of all, there are very real reasons why you have chosen to stay small, in the background, hiding your light and truth.  I see it all the time with my Fearless Faith private coaching clients.  And there are ways to deal with them so you are truly free.  But for now, know that you chose to hide your light and stay small for protection.

And the real truth of this is that we are in an incredible time in the history of the planet.  It is a time of immense transformation and it is even easier than ever to create meaningful change for ourselves.  Energy is shifting more easily and quickly than I’ve ever seen, just in the last few months!  You are SO supported here.

The only thing to fear now is the energy within you that is fear.  When that fear is gone, there is no reason to hide your light.

It is time to shine.  You are here to make a difference.  You would not be reading this right now if that wasn’t true.  You have a light within you and the essence of Who You Really Are is something that you are meant to share with the world.

And you know what?

You can’t share what you’re meant to with the world if you shrink down and hide your light.

It’s just not possible.

You can’t be the light you came here to be if you want to be like everyone else.

I know.  If I stop to think about it, my life is very different from my friends and family.  At some point, I became tired of fitting in and being acceptable.  At some point I just needed to do it my own way. I had to be different, even though being different was always the very thing I feared most.

But now I look around and I see the lives I’m touching.  I see how they are truly freeing themselves to do what I had done, to be authentically who they are, to honor the call of their heart and to walk their own path.

I have heard people tell me that I am an inspiration, that by me leaving my old Engineering career behind to do this work I love gives people hope that they can do the same.  My life really does feel amazing to me.  I am free.  I get to be me.  To me there is no other life.

And I LOVE to be an example of how amazing life can be.  I am different.  And I’m so glad that I gave myself permission to be different because the payoff has been huge.

So really think about it.  Is you playing small and fitting in really serving those around you? And is it really serving you?  Or is it time to make a new choice?

Choice is powerful.  It sets things in motion.  It makes things happen.  It is a journey, I’ll be honest with you about that, it’s no overnight transformation.  But it is the most incredible journey of growth, discovery, passion and freedom you could ever go on.  It truly can be an adventure, I know this and that is my gift to you if you stick with me.  But it all starts with a choice.

Do you give yourself permission to be different, to be an example of how amazing life can be?  If so, welcome to the adventure, I’m with you all the way!

June 15, 2010   No Comments

Is Your Extreme Sensitivity Covering Up Something Deeper?

2010 Fia Crandall

Are you extremely sensitive to the needs and opinions of others?  Are you good at anticipating how others will take you, often adjusting your behavior depending on who is around?

As a spiritually conscious woman, you are likely very sensitive to the needs and opinions of others, it is probably a very normal part of who you are.  While this may appear to be a wonderful trait from the outside, I’d like to point out a deeper aspect that you may not be aware of.

The deeper aspect of this wonderful trait may actually be causing you to hide your true light and keeping you small when the deeper part of you wants to shine.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why you were so sensitive to others opinions and judgments?  Why you were so good at anticipating others needs and reactions?

Think about it, just how many people around you are sensitive to you in this way?

And, would you ever expect them to be?  Or would you just want them to be themselves?

In the Intuitive Healing work I have done for myself and with my clients I have come to see that there is a deeper cause of this over-sensitivity.  And that there is a very damaging dynamic underlying it that could be causing you to hold back the very light you came here to shine to the world.

The Deeper Cause of Over-Sensitivity is the Fear of Rejection

I have found it to be very common that spiritually conscious women have had past lives where they were rejected in a major way for being their true selves. I’ve seen it countless times for myself too.  I’ve seen it too many times to just ignore it.  I’ve come to accept that it’s actually a very common problem that needs to be dealt with so you can be truly free to be the light you know you’re meant to be.

Here’s how it works:

Deep down in your being you remember what happened when you were being yourself, you remember how you were rejected or punished for being who you really were.  And along with that memory comes fierce self-protection.

You will never let yourself experience that pain again, and just how did you make sure of it?

You became super-sensitive to others.  You became good at hiding your light at any threat of judgment or danger.

These deeply buried past life memories of rejection cause you to adjust your behavior and how you portray yourself to the world to be dimmed down or not authentic so you do not get rejected as you were in the past.

Being super-sensitive to others reactions and opinions is your way of making sure you are being acceptable so you don’t get hurt.

Can you feel deep down how this may be true for you?

I have always been extremely sensitive to how others saw me, but what I now realize was underlying this extreme sensitivity was the need to be accepted. And looking back I now see how clearly being accepted was higher up on my list of priorities than being my true self as I look back.  I chose an acceptable career of Mechanical Engineering which was fine but only a quarter of who I really was.  I put a happy face to the world and tried to make other people happy, often at the cost of my own happiness.

Does this resonate?

Thankfully I changed this.  And now my number one value is authenticity and because of it my life is a true reflection of Who I Really Am, inside and out.

If I hadn’t changed this old dynamic I would not be here writing to you right now.  I want you to know that you can change it too.  This dynamic is out of balance and it’s time to bring it back into balance.

Start now by stopping yourself when you notice you’re coming from that super-sensitive state.

Stop and ask yourself some questions:  What am I afraid of here?  How am I denying my true self in this moment?  Can I see how I may be trying to protect myself, even if it doesn’t make logical sense?

And know that with this new clarity, you are free to make a new choice.  You really are meant to shine, and this over-sensitivity and deep fear of rejection has got to go.  It’s an old energy rooted in a dark time.  It’s time to step up and choose your light over your fear.

Being grounded in the light of who you really are is where you belong.  And when you are grounded in your truth you also give permission for others to be the same… Are you with me?

Photo used with permission  Jesse Therrien

June 10, 2010   2 Comments

Choose Ease by Embracing Two Important Sources of Light on Your Path

2010 Fia Crandall

The logical mind thinks in terms of the known, the visible, what can be confirmed.  The Universe thinks in terms of possibility.  The deeper part of you is connected to a greater wisdom and knows that all is possible and what you see around you is changeable.

I have found that the path of becoming who you are really meant to be requires developing your understanding and trust of the Universe’s logic. And the Universe’s logic is nothing like your logic.

The reason the Universe’s logic is different is because it is able to consider ALL aspects of your situation, both known AND unknown.

Your logical mind can’t do this.

The other thing that I’ve learned about the Universe’s logic is that the Universe only steps up when you do and not before.  This actually reinforces your logic because you will not see what’s possible until you step up.

I recently had a client realize that she must leave her job, even before she has something new lined up.  Although this scared her, she realized it was no longer a choice, she had to do it.  She couldn’t not do it.  Within 24 hours of making this decision new realizations came to her, new ideas and possibilities seemingly came out of nowhere.

The logic of the Universe works like that.  And I believe it is because before you commit to what matters most to you, you only see through eyes of impossibility and because of that the Universe brings you only what matches your view. So you look around and there is so much evidence around you that affirms it is impossible for you to commit to your path, to doing what you came here to do.

Logic alone can not take you forward into the amazing life you are meant to live. It just can’t.  Of course it will help you along the way but it will be a new logic.  The logic of possibility and understanding of the Universe’s workings.

I still remember the day I committed to my path.  I remember writing in my journal an entry that would shape the course of my life and rearrange everything to allow for my purpose to unfold. I knew it was time.  I was really getting bored with what was going on at work and I couldn’t imagine moving on to the next project to do it all over again.  So I wrote in my journal I KNOW I am meant to do more and be more, I am ready, show me the way.

They were not just words in a journal, this was an expression of me being totally ready and willing to surrender to the Universe’s way (as I didn’t have a clue how to move forward).  Since that time the company I was working for at the time didn’t get any new work and a few short months later (after moving into a new house I had built), I was laid off.

At that point I was excited (even though I was scared on some level) because I knew the Universe was opening up the way for me. From that point on, one thing after the other came to support me and here I am now.  I can’t imagine my life another way.  Doing what I am meant to do is the foundation of my life and making the difference that I am here to make brings me such deep satisfaction, meaning and joy.  There is no other life for me.

I also want you to know that committing to your path is not a magic pill.

This path is not for those who aren’t willing to take charge and be responsible for their life.  And there will be work required.  You will be required to stretch, grow, overcome your fears, and basically let go of your smallness to become who you need to be to carry out you purpose. That is not an overnight task and your path may not be linear.  I had to go back to Engineering for a temporary job that ended up being a two year part-time job.  It doesn’t matter what your path looks like, if you’re committed and you don’t give up, you WILL get there and the Universe will support you every step of the way (even if it doesn’t appear that way).

Look at your life.  Can’t you FEEL it can be so much more? Can’t you feel deep down that YOU can be so much more, even if you have no idea what that is?

You are the only one who can choose to stop looking at why it’s impossible.

You are the only one who can commit to your path.

And if you do, I celebrate with you because I know all of the amazing things that are coming for you.  And I know how good it feels to live a life based in authenticity and freedom and to be able to give expression to what wants to come through you.  It’s too good to miss out on.

June 4, 2010   No Comments